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當老婆剛剛沖完澡出來，老公正要開始淋浴時，門鈴響了。
在幾秒爭吵誰該去應門之後，老婆放棄了，裹了條毛巾急忙下去開門。
她打開門看見Bob，他的鄰居。
在她還沒開口之前，Bob就說：「如果你把那條毛巾拿下，我就給你$800!」
老婆想了想，就脫下毛巾處裸站在Bob面前，過了幾秒Bob給了錢就走了。
老婆困惑又興奮她的好運的裹上毛巾上樓。
當她回到浴室老公問她：「剛剛是誰ㄚ？」
「隔壁的Bob啦!」她回答。
「很好，」老公說「那他有沒有拿他欠我的$800還我嗎？」
故事寓意
在未了解事情的真相之前，永遠不要輕易自行判斷而造成錯誤，而且還不知道自己有多難堪。
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when
the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, ‘I’ll give you £800 to drop that towel.’
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in
front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her £800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, ‘Who was that?’
‘It was Bob the next door neighbour,’ she replies.
‘Great,’ the husband says, ‘did he say anything about the £800 he owes me?’
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your
shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
有個牧師開車在路上，見到路旁有個修女，便停車主動載她一程。
她進車後便翹起腳來，讓她可愛的美腿從長袍中露了出來。
牧師看了一眼高興的差點讓車子出了意外。
在控制車子後，他偷偷摸摸的將她的手往美腿上移動。
修女看了看他便說：「神父，記得聖詩129嗎？」
神父臉紅連忙道歉，他被迫移開他的手。
但是他的視線卻離不開他的美腿。
在幾次換檔之後，他的手又再次滑向美腿。
修女又說：「神父，記得聖詩129嗎？」
神父又在一次道歉：「對不起，姊妹，肉體是虛弱的。」
到達修道院後，修女下車給了他一個寓意深長一眼就走了。
當神父回到教堂，他急忙拿出聖經想找出聖詩129是什麼。
聖詩129節：「走向前並尋求，再更深入一點，你會找到榮耀的。」
故事寓意
永遠對你的工作保持熟悉，不然你會錯過很多機會的。
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up he
leg again.
The nun once again said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’
The priest apologized ‘Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.’
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, ‘G
forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.’
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
業務代表，行政職員，經理一起走在路上去吃午餐，意外發現一個古董油燈。
他們摩擦油燈，一個精靈從一團煙霧中碰了出來。
精靈說：「我通常都給每個人3個願望，所以給你們每個人一人一個。」
「我先！我先！」職員搶著說：「我要到巴哈馬，開著遊艇，自在逍遙。」
噗！她消失了。
驚嚇之後，
「換我！換我！」業務代表說：「我要在夏威夷，和女按摩師躺在沙灘上，還有喝不完的pina coladas(鳳椰汁)，和生命之愛。」
噗！他消失了。
「好了!現在該你了!」精靈對經理說。
經理說：「我只希望他們兩個吃完午餐後回到辦公室。」
故事寓意：
永遠讓你老闆先說話。
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when
they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, ‘I’ll give each of you just one wish.’
‘Me first! Me first!’ says the admin clerk. ‘I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a
speedboat, without a care in the world.’
Puff! She’s gone.
‘Me next! Me next!’ says the sales rep. ‘I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the
beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the
love of my life.’
Puff! He’s gone.
‘OK, you’re up,’ the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, ‘I want those two back in the office after lunch.’
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
乌鸦站在高大的树枝上，整天无所事事，悠哉游哉好不快活。一只小兔子看见了，心中非常羡慕，就问乌鸦：“乌鸦大哥，你这么自在逍遥，真好呀，我能不能跟你一样，也整天呆着不做事？”乌鸦回答：“当然行，为什么不呢？”
兔子闻言，立即松懈下来，躺在大树底下睡起觉来。过了一会儿，一只狐狸突然扑过来，把兔子叼进嘴里。
寓言寓意：
要想丰衣足食而又无所事事，你的位置必须非常非常高。
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, ‘Can I also sit like you and do
nothing?’
The eagle answered: ‘Sure, why not.’
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a
fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
一只火鸡对公牛说：“我真想飞到对面那棵大树的顶端，可惜现在一点力气也没有。”公牛出主意道：“你为何不吃一点我的粪便呢，里面可是富含营养哟，呵呵。”火鸡觉得有道理，啄食了一点，立即感觉有了力气，便尽力飞到一根树枝上。第二天，火鸡又吃了几口粪便，有了力气，便飞到更高的树枝上。两周后，当火鸡吃下足够多的公牛粪便，终于飞上大树的顶部。火鸡极目远眺，正在洋洋得意，被一名农夫发现了，迅速开枪将它射落在地。
寓言寓意：
舔别人的屁股是一条捷径，能使你迅速获取较高的位置，但却不能保持长久。
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
‘I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree’ sighed the turkey, ‘but I
haven’t got the energy.’
‘Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?’ replied the bull. They’re
packed with nutrients.’
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough
strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.
一只小鸟飞往南方去过冬，天气实在太冷了，这只小鸟被冻僵了，掉到了一块田地里。当它僵硬地躺在那里，一头牛走了过来，拉了一堆牛粪在它身上。冻僵的小鸟躺在这堆牛粪里，便开始有了意识，渐渐的意识到躺在那里有多暖和。这堆牛粪的确令它苏醒过来，它躺在上面又暖和又快乐，一会儿便欢乐地唱起歌来。一只路过的猫听到鸟的歌声便过来探个究竟，寻声而来，猫发现了在这堆牛粪下的小鸟，便很快将它挖出来吃掉了。
故事寓意：
1）不是所有说你坏话的人都是你的敌人。（不是所有往你身上拉牛粪的人都是你的敌人）
2）不是所有帮你解围的人都是你的朋友。（不是所有将你从牛粪里拉出来的人都是你的朋友）
3）在你还没有完全摆脱困境时，别得意忘形。（当你还没有从粪堆里出来时，把嘴闭上）
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to
the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and
promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!
上帝造人之始，人身初具规模。此时身体各个组成部分彼此不服，都想当老板。大脑首先发表演讲：“我具备智力，能控制全身的活动，理所当然是老板！”两只脚听到了，不服气地说：“大脑再聪明，也由我整天扛着东奔西走，我要是不动弹，哪里也去不了，我应该当老板。”双手说道：“所有的工作都由我来完成，我是老板。”接下来，肺、心脏、眼睛等都参与到辩论之中，一时吵闹不休，分不出胜负。本来，谁也没把最卑劣的屁眼放在眼里，意想不到的是，屁眼也发表了竞争演说。这实在让人忍俊不禁，所有的竞争者都嘲笑起来。屁眼受到刺激，于是决定罢工，死活不做任何事。很短的时间内，全身起了连锁反应，眼睛模糊了，双手开始僵硬，两只脚有些瘸，心脏和肺逐渐停止跳动，大脑也糊里糊涂起来。到了最后关头，谁也坚持不下去，纷纷同意屁眼当老板。在这之后，全身各部位埋头工作，剩下屁眼闲呆着，唯一的职责就是整天瞎放臭屁。
寓言寓意：当老板的，往往是那些不干正事，而整天瞎放臭屁的家伙。
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be boss. The brain said, “I should be Boss because I control the whole body’s responses and functions. ” The feet said, ” We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go.” The hands said, ” We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money.” And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Moral of the story:
You don’t need brains to be a Boss – any asshole will do.